SIGNS KIKI HAS STOLEN YOUR CREDIT CARD

** The swimming pool is filled with Gravy Train.
** There's a bidet installed next to his dog house.
** Kiki seems really annoyed during those ads about places that take Visa,
but not American Express.
** All receipts sloppily signed "Masturr."
** Reoccurring charges for "Interactive Lassie."
** Kiki still drinks from the toilet, but he fills it with Evian.

WHY DOGS LOVE HALLOWEEN

It's never to early to start thinking of that great costume to wear for Halloween. Here are some great costume ideas. Remeber to click on image for a larger view.


and me of course..... I was a rock lobster last year.

KIKI'S TOP TEN THOUGHTS

10. I could've sworn I heard the can opener.
9. Why doesn't the government do something about mange?
8. Is there something I'm not getting about Norm Crosby?
7. I wonder where Cujo took his acting lessons?
6. Mmmm.....that filthy standing water sure hits the spot!
5. Hey--no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
4. I still miss Lorne Greene.
3. Would we dogs have built a vast and complex civilization of our own if we weren't distracted by our ability to lick ourselves?
2. Please, oh, please, oh, please let that be the can opener.
1. If there's a God, how can he allow neutering?

KIKI THE CLEVER DOG

Letty says to her husband Adolfo one weekend morning,
"We've got such a clever dog. She brings in the daily newspapers every morning."
Her husband Adolfo replies, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."
Letty responded, "But we've never subscribed to any!"

KIKI's PROPERTY LAWS

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.

SIGNS KIKI HAS WON THE LOTTERY

**Giant gold fire hydrant in the front yard.
** Kiki Sends another dog out to bark at the mailman.
** Oscar Mayer truck parked at the kitchen door on Wednesdays.
** Kiki starts her own party and runs for President.
** Bigfoot truck in the driveway with "Hey Cat - Make My Day!" bumper sticker.
** Shortage of beef jerky at all the local grocery stores.
** Kiki starts her own blog... oh oh...

MOVIE DOG

A man followed Norma and I out of a movie theatre. Norma had me on a dog lease. He stops Norma and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog Kiki was really into the movie. She cried at the right spots, she moved nervously in her seat at the boring parts, but most of all, she laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find it unusual?"
"Yes," Norma replied, "I found it very unusual. Kiki hated the book!"

DOG LAWS

1. In Columbus Georgia, it's against the law for dogs to howl after 9pm
2. Berea Kentucky law requires dogs on the streets after dark to display a red taillight.
3. Florida law does not allow dogs to ride in a school bus.
4. A law in Zion Illinois prohibits owners from teaching their dogs to smoke cigars.
5. In Fox Point Wisconsin, dogs cannot travel in groups larger than two.
6. The Belvedere California City Council passed a law that reads, "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."

FRIDAY - JOKE OF THE DAY

MAN TO KIKI: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes into the corner."
KIKI: "That's OK, he is a Boxer."

GIGI AND KIKI HOUSE SITTING

A DOG'S DICTIONARY & GUIDE

1. Leash: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your owner where you want him or her to go. Make sure that you are waiting patiently with leash in mouth when your owner comes home from work. This immediately makes your owner feel guilty and the walk is lengthened by a good 10 minutes.
2. Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface, such as a white bedspread, newly upholstered couch or the dry cleaning that was just picked up.
Drool: What you do when your owners have food and you don't.To do this properly, sit as close as you can, look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet on their laps.
3. Sniff: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs or those people that sometimes smell like dogs.
4. Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The rider swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
5. Thunder: A signal the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.
6. Wastebasket: A dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house. This is particularly fun to do when there are guests for dinner and you prance around with the contents of that very special bathroom wastepaper basket!
7. Sofas: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. If there are people sitting on the couch just include them as a handy wipe.
8. Bath: A process owners use to clean you, drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
9. Lean: Every good dog's response to the command "sit," especially if your owner is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
10. Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction, shared by you and your owner. Show it by wagging your tail

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
7. Neither does any dishes.
8. Both fart shamelessly.
9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
10. Both like dominance games.
11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
12. Neither understands what you see in cats.

HELP WANTED

I was out looking for a job. It's tough out there. This is how my first interview went. A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, I trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. I looked at the receptionist and wagged my tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at me and was surprised, to say the least. However, I looked determined, so he lead me into the office. Inside, I jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "Kiki, I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."I jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. I took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told me, "Kiki, the sign says you have to be good with a computer." I jumped down again and went to the computer. I proceeded to demonstrate my expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at me and said, "Kiki, I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job." I jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put my paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual." So I looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."

KIKI'S TOP 20 FAVORITE MOVIES

1. Cujo
2. All Dogs go to heaven
3. Milo and Otis
4. Lassie
5. My Dog Skip
6. Lady and the Tramp
7. The Fox and the Hound
8. 101 Dalmations
9. The Doberman Gang
10. Air Bud
11. Benji
12. The Legend of Lobo
13. Oliver and Company
14. The Shaggy Dog
15. Scobby Doo
16. The truth about cats and dogs
17. Eight Below
18. Must love dogs
19. Snow Dogs
20. The 10th Kingdom

KIKI AND GIGI BATH TIME

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WHEN YOU'VE FOUND A NEW PET

I was watching Animal Rescue last night and alot of pets need your help. I feel so lucky to have such a great home. There are alot of pets out there that need that same kind of love. I found this great website with alot of great articles and I will be posting them as often as I can.
WHEN YOU'VE FOUND A NEW PET
You've decided that you have the time, space, and financial resources you need to become a pet parent. The perfect pair of eyes met yours at the animal shelter, breeder, or pet store, and you've found your furry soul mate. He gets his physical exam, vaccinations, and I.D. tag, and the two of you are headed home. Now what?
Visit http://www.healthypet.com/ for the complete article.

HOT WEEKEND

How did you beat the heat this weekend? This heat was out of control. I had to get an oil treatment for my skin and I got a hair cut so when it grows out my hair will be soft and luxurious. For now, I am sporting a buzz cut or the summer look. That is how I am trying to beat this heat. Mom thinks I'm going to get rabies like Cujo becuase it's so hot. Cujo is COOL!! So everytime she looks my way I drink lots of water. On Saturday, some of my pets took of to the beach and of course left me at home to take care of the house. Then just yesterday they went to the pool to cool off and left me behind. That is okay, I got to spend quality time with Gigi and Pinky. They are the coolest. I will post pictures of my buzz cut later this week. Hope you all had a great labor day!